"Arseholes Solve Sinclair Situation"

Calling for Ministers to resign. That's so yesterday. We two arseholes are way past that!

We've already come up with an innovative solution to the crisis of confidence, so this never happens again.

[Not to worry gentle readers, we haven’t sacrificed the rigorous arsehole method you have come to expect in arriving at this solution]

But first, we'll give you 3 guesses on our proposed replacement for Health Minister:

1. If you guessed this guy you'd have picked a worthy candidate (intelligent, experienced, good in QP), but he’s not the snappiest dresser, and you'd be wrong.


2. If you guessed this gal you’d have picked a veritable pit bull of energy, but she doesn’t exactly ooze compassion - so wrong again.


3. If you guessed this guy, you’d have to be crazy (and wrong).

Give up?

We don't think one person is enough for the Health portfolio, given the size of it’s budget and it’s importance. Our solution calls for a three-person ruling junta comprised of Hugh McFadyen, Myrna Driedger and Jon Gerrard. Here’s how the junta would operate:

• As a doctor, Liberal leader jovial Jon would have the proper credentials to tackle the lack of accountability in physician culture that is the principal barrier to meaningful health care reform in this province/country, a culture that is partially responsible for Sinclair's death.


• As a nurse, Tory Health critic mournful Myrna can whip those lazy, derelict nurses (and triage aides) into shape. Or better, just fire them.


• As a so-called lawyer and former backroom boy, wee-Hughie can advise Brock Wright’s replacement not to say anything (ever), to remove the security cameras from HSC and how to operate the shredding machine.

With this all star team in place, this will never happen again. Oh sure, people like Brian Sinclair will still die (because Myrna will succeed in firing nurses), but we will never know about it (because Dr. Jon will fail and wee-Hughie will succeed). Scandal avoided.

Yup, that should restore confidence in Room 302.

All hail the junta! Hasta la victoria siempre!

UPDATE on "Fishin' for Scandal": we don't know Adam Topp from Adam. Never heard of him in fact, but he made some very sensible points countering the hyperbole on the "brown envelopes" in Sunday's Freep opinion page.